World Hijab Day: It’s You Against Yourself

To the Struggling Muslimah,

It took me a while to figure out what I wanted to write about for World Hijab Day. Should I write about Islamophobia and Hijab? Or my struggles with hijab itself? Should I write about modesty and hijab? But no, there are bigger issues to really talk about. I will not write about problems others have about hijab. I will not explain to people how girls who wear or don’t wear hijab have their own issues to deal with. I will not write about the nit pickers of the hijabis. Instead, I think I will write about how hijabis feel about themselves. The other side of the nit picking when people prey upon the way one dresses, the way one acts, the way one talks. Basically how to deal with the BS of others :).

The world around dictates how we should lead our lives, dress, look, act, speak and even behave. Over time we have adjusted our own desires- whether good or bad- to those of society, just to please the social norms around us. Wearing hijab for me was a means to kind of cut off my own ties with social norms and create my own norm. Well my own version of a norm since it is still under religious doctrine. Yet, as someone who wore it going on four years, I find myself giving in to what I should to be, to what I want to be. Even in the “hijabi community”, you find yourself losing confidence when looking at others and debate whether or not to keep it on.  Whether its seeing the angelic girl in her Abaya walking through the school hallways, or the trendy turbanista testing out a new style every week, you feel like you’re not doing it properly. Whether its style wise or modesty wise, you somehow second guess your efforts as if its not enough.

My advice to you, as someone who has went through it all the time and even wanted to take it off because of a never ending battle, the only person you are competing against is the person you were yesterday. There is no standard you should reach unless its for the good of you. There is no one you should listen to unless its your Quran, the Prophet, and sincere advice.  Your jeans are a bit too tight and you’ve been called out on it? So what,  let that be something you overcome because only you and Allah know your sincerest intentions and your efforts. But always remember to carry every action with renewed intentions. Everything you do should be the sake of the one Who deserves it. It should never be to please those around you. Do it if it makes you and God happy.  Your worth does not depend on those who observe you. Your beauty does not decline when you see someone just as beautiful. You efforts do not fade away when you see someone outwardly steadfast on their deen, because remember everyone is struggling just about the same and no one is free of faults.

You feel like taking it off? My advice is reflect back on the reasons you wore it, and what motivated you and see if they can serve as a catalyst again. I remember last year I was so close to taking it off just for the sake of finding my way back to the deen, but I realized by changing my attire I won’t change myself. The hijab does not make you spiritual, Islamic or any of that. Your intentions and the actions that follow after do. So take this day, if not everyday to reflect your reasoning as to why you were it and think “am I better than who I was yesterday” as you continue this spiritual journey.

My duas are always with you.