I am numb

I can sit in the middle of the grass
On a cold day

With a tshirt on

And a pair of sweatpants 

And stare at my fingers as they turn purple

And the hair on my arms standing up

Yet for some reason it doesn’t bother me

I am suddenly numb to the things that cause me discomfort 

I can be on line for coffee and a man suddenly taps my shoulder because I am

Next in line

“sorry” he says.

“No worries that’s fine,” I say 

I am suddenly numb to the things that cause me discomfort

A man told me that he liked calling ladies he didn’t know pretty. But they never say thank you.

“Maam you’re beautiful. I mean it. Now what do you say?”

“…uhm. Thanks? I guess.”

I am suddenly numb to the things that cause me discomfort .

I used to leave my home with a full face of makeup

I stopped.

I am suddenly numb to the things that cause me discomfort 

I visited his grave a few times. 

“Remember death” they say.

And I remembered

But to be honest now I forget

And the tears have dried out

I am suddenly numb to the things that cause me discomfort 

He touched my leg 

I moved it away and he smiled, so I just nodded.

I am suddenly numb to the things that cause me discomfort 

“Fuck your religion man,” I overheard 

I didn’t step in. I left.

I am suddenly numb to the things that cause me discomfort

I heard a man say “come home with me” while crossing the street

I turned the volume of my music higher

I am suddenly numb to the things that cause me discomfort 

I sat on the grass and let the storm kick in

I wanted to leave.

I stayed. Got soaked.

I don’t know if I was numb to this thing that caused me discomfort but I stayed.