Obscure Sorrows

I am in search of words to describe what I am feelingI am not sad nor am I angry

I am not jumping for joy either sadly 

I am in search for something familiar in the same people day by day

Yet my search feels so useless 

For people change and so have I

I am not nostalgic

I just want to live in the past but as the self I am right now

I do not want to be who I was 5 years ago 

But someone like myself right now 

I want to tell those who I haven’t spoken in years since they left all the wonderful things I have seen

And all the great things I have learned

I want to speak to them one more time and cherish the exchange of our different minds

I cannot help but feel like taking ten steps back

While my mind is ten steps forward

What is the word to describe all this clutter

Is there a word to describe the feeling when you’re invincible 

But your feet still touch the ground?

Or a word to depict the yearning of being in misery

Because during that state you remember what feelings actually mean

It was either sadness or happiness

And now you are faced with a bundle of confusion

And this is what happens when they leave us here

We are the confused ones sitting on this earth

As they wander the skies 

And we stretch to the clouds trying to touch their souls 

Only to be on our tippy toes

With nothing in our hands for us to show

Where are you? Are you okay? 

How long do I have to wait for me to be with you someday?

Obscure sorrows

My mind wanders just like the

way they roam.

Rest in peace loved ones.

Dwell in your eternal homes.