Oh white boy.

 

“I don’t understand why you get mad about the government surveillance? Your kind usually does this stuff, if anything it’s a good thing, making us more safe.”
I was in utter shock
“Makes YOU feel more safe” I said
AND WHAT ABOUT ME?
Must I open my bag all the time when a cop asks?
Must I watch my back every second after 6 just to make sure no one follows me?
Must I have to explain to people why I wear this on my head?
Must I wear a hat when I feel unsafe
Or walk with a buddy till I know I’m in good faith
Must I be paranoid all the time when I turn on the news?
In hopes of my name not being tainted by Trump or Ted CruZ?
What exactly makes you feel unsafe oh white boy with so much privilege?
Oh, do you get stopped a lot?
Stopped and frisked?
Do they stop you?
Because you have too many textbooks in your bag?
From studying all day?
Do they ever stop you?
What exactly makes you feel unsafe?
Are you afraid any moment I might get violent for religious purposes?
Perhaps I may, but on the grounds of your ignorance to be honest
Oh white boy
Tell me
Just tell me
Who is your government making safe?
Cause I feel threatened by your mere appearance right now
What if I assume you have a gun in your bag?
Should I wear a bullet proof vest from now on to be on the safe side?
That’ll make me feel safe
But I’m sure you would whine and such
Of how discriminatory that is?
Oh white boy, so please please
Enlighten me
Why should I be surveillanced while your kind gets to roam around freely?
Oh white boy
I just don’t understand
Why you think my rights should be violated
As you get to enjoy this land
Oh white boy I guess it makes sense
Your history in this land
Is based on stealing for gains
Without being reprimanded

When it hits you

When it hits you

There are actual people
In this world

Who don’t know their history

and think it’s okay

To tell us

We are the bad ones

We are the evil ones

We need to be gone

When it was their kind

Who created wars

Who have guns

Who shout racial slurs

All just for fun

Who regulate the business of a women inside her

Who think they own our rights to live

Who can’t differentiate from a Kurds and the Quds

Who think it’s okay to come into my place of worship and have us be on high alert

Who place a group into one big box

And stamp their labels creating this huge American paradox

Who tell us what to do

And when to speak out

And tell us we represent a minority

When it hits you that there is someone with so much hate in the world

Who despises you

Without knowing you

Who thinks it’s morally okay to kill you if you were 1000 miles away

There are people out there representing a whole ideology of hate

From what I know

It’s not from my side

But from the side of the nation state

They systematically work against you

For just being alive

For being true to your beliefs

It makes you wonder

Why.

What did I do to deserve this?

Just breathing makes you want to see me gone.

I know the drill

 

“Go home”
So I did

I walked four blocks to my house

Opened the door

And went inside

Isn’t that what he meant?

“the rag on her head doesn’t belong here”

Yet, they appropriate it when it’s fun

And even have “turban headbands” in forever21

I sat on the train in silence as there were two seats empty from my left and my right

Even though the train was packed

Maybe they were looking out for my comfort?

“Don’t your people kill for fun? How many have you killed?”

Is an actual question

Every part of me wants to give you a finger

But I know I can’t be angry

So I smile

And laugh.

“None. It’s against our beliefs.”

And I walk away

“You’re ruining us and this country.”

But I took out loans. I work two jobs just to pay for my education. So I can be something. I don’t get it.

“We have soldiers ready to shoot your ass to where you came from”

I was born here.

My parents fled here because of a proxy war.

Where would I go.

“Be safe.”

Is what I hear everyday when I leave home because now that’s a reality.

“Wear a hoodie. Your hijab is too visible”

Is actually a piece of advice I take now.

“Don’t stand too close to the platform of the train.”

I know. I know the drill.

I know the drill.

I know it way too well.

I should not have to explain to you why the world is Islamophobic.

Islamophobia does exist.

Please do not argue with me

about the wording of labels

or phrases officials use

Please do not try to prove to me

that authorities are not racist

because they are here to serve and do their duty

Do not try to explain to me

that everyone in America felt xenophobia at one point in their lives

So this shall pass

There is no excuse for people saying “Go back to where you came from”

When I came from a place ten zip codes from your place

and you treat me like I do not adhere to the laws like you do

Do not tell me that I should be more American

Because I value freedoms just as much as you

Please do not explain to me

Why precautionary measures are being taken at an airport

When all you do is point your fingers at my head scarf

And then make sly comments like “no no, not the moderns one, the extreme ones”

But, but, they arent one of us

Those “extreme ones”

Aren’t one of us

They were never one of us

You kill a man

You kill humanity

You kill a thousand

You kill the world a thousand times over

They are not one of me

If I was an extremist Muslim

I would be extremely charitable

and humble

and loving

and understanding

and active in my community

and engage people in thinking

and educate myself

and make the world a better place

but the are the “extreme ones”

you refer to

are not even Muslim in the first place

so what are they extreme at?

I should not have to tell you

why being labeled is racist

or explain to you why I feel scared on the train tracks

I shouldn’t have to tell you why I think hate speech is dangerous

When once a week

you have someone yelling at your face

telling you to go home

because the first thing they look at

is whats on your head

or the facial hair on your face

How awkward is it

to go back home

only to see your neighbor being the one

to yell racial slurs a few minutes ago?

How weird is it to have the words of a person be protected

and the message they foster be implemented into policies

that have a few people beaten and others dead

but this is freedom of speech

I suppose

We value words more than actual lives

We value empty promises and by doing so we pay for so many crimes

I should not have to explain to you why the world is racist

why the world is islamophobic

when “refugee camps” look like concentration camps

and why white lives are valued more than mine

I should not have to explain to you

why its wrong to arrest a 14 year old

Ahmed.

Ahmed.

Oh Ahmed was your name?

Shame on your parents for not naming you TIm

Cause you see

In the land of the free and the home of the brave

We are chained to our labels and these false beliefs that never go away.